Sunday, June 20, 2010

daddy's in heaven

Fathers Day Prayer: If roses grow in Heaven, Lord, pick a bunch for me.
Place them in my daddy's arms & tell him they're from me.
Tell him that I love & miss him & when he turns to smile.
Place a kiss upon his cheek & hold him for a while.
Remembering him is easy ~ I do it everyday.
But there's an ache within my heart that will never go away.

Remembering the "Prince of a Man" that my Daddy was and is. One of the faithful and true men that the Scriptures says God looks for on the earth, but doesn't find. He was faithful to be humble, obeying his life purpose to "feed my sheep." Even though he didn't know what it meant early on, he figured it out alright. We were fed with the richness of the Word every day, and are filled with it to this day.

Luke Dove let us know that yesterday, he asked his girlfriend Bekka to marry him. Too funny to remember that boy and all his crazy stunts, pranks, and tomfoolery while at CIAS. Ben Gygax announced today on FB that he is "in a relationship." Like I said before, romance is in the air.

I cleaned the kitchen cabinets and drawers today, matching a lid with every bowl and /vacuuming/wiping/cleaning. Made some awesome sweet tea too! :-D

Saturday, June 19, 2010

no compromise

 Last Sunday, I steeped myself in Keith Green (and coffee!). I remember the day he died...I was 6 1/2 that summer in 1982 when Daddy called from the bookstore (he owned Chattanooga's Grapevine Christian Bookstore at the time) and told us. I laid on the carpeted floor near the radio speaker and cried my poor little heart out! What a sad day for us, but a glad day for eternity! 2 Cor 5:8 "...To be absent from... the body and to be at home with the Lord."

His wife Melody wrote his bio No Compromise, and it has been through many reprints. I can't believe that I haven't read it before, seeing as I have read Ragamuffin Gospel, Rich Mullins' bio- His Life and Legacy: An Arrow Pointing To Heaven, Oswald Chambers' Abandoned to God, and The Journals of Jim Elliot. All four were majorly inspirational and life-changing for me. I love this one too...Keith was a firebrand that burned hot for Jesus. I was watching some youtube vids of him performing some of my fav songs. Powerful stuff. Even his preaching was impassioned with his zeal and desire to see God's people live above the status quo of "churchianity."

It was good to think back and reminisce about my childhood spiritual experiences. Brought up memories of the home fellowship and "the boys". "The boys" were a group of guitar-strumming, LSD-fried ex-hippies, set of fire for Jesus and filled with the Holy Ghost. What a bunch of guys! They inspired so much of my life now. Their zeal for God and for ministering to others had impact, far beyond what they even knew. Fred Williamson and Jimmy Cash were my special buddies. I will have to find some pics of them from our childhood albums...our 70s hippie days. :-P

I love Jesus. I always have, as long as I can remember. I loved to dance around our house, singing at the top of my lungs, songs of praise to Jesus that the boys had written. The Holy Ghost filled my little spirit at salvation around 3 1/2 or so. It's a story that is uncommon, I know. I know Jesus saved me early and so wholeheartedly for a reason. Maybe my whole life and ministry is that reason, I don't know. I just trust that whatever it is, I am doing what He wants me to do.

Last night I attended the first women's worship evening at Cori's church. It was a lovely time of refreshing worship, humble and not pretentious. Cori's friend Andrea sang a song she had written, based on Song of Solomon. It touched me deeply. The song spoke of the Lord's rejoicing over me with joyful singing. I don't know why, but it touched me so much that I cried. The Lord met me there.

I want to grow from all this. Whatever the Lord has for me to learn this summer, I want it!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Bright Star

We watched Bright Star last night, the poignant story of John Keats' ill-fated romance with Fanny Brawne. It was so sweet; I cried several times. There were, as usual, several things that I did not like, but overall it was a lovely romantic tale. Tricia looked up the real story between them, and the movie was mostly true. The love scenes were weirdly intense, almost too much for me. Especially since Fanny was so young, I guess it seemed so out-of-touch with my "prime-of-life-singlesness". Still, I think that I'll add it to my list of favorite movies.

Just spent an hour or so reading the new courtship stories on YLCF. Some of the girls are so young, 17-20 yo! I think there were two running themes linking all the stories that I read: they met through friends or college or ministry. I think back over the last fifteen years of my life (my "marriageable" years), especially about my church involvement and social interaction. I was at ITC for a year and ATI for almost 12. Liberty for 5 years, Innercity Ministries for 8 months, Charity Chapel for two years, Campus Church for two,  and Hearts Ablaze at BAG for over 5 years. There was ample opportunity to be "found." I have often wondered why not.

Recently, I have not been going anywhere regularly. I keep myself spiritually fellowshiped, certainly, but I miss worshiping corporately. I stay so busy with running the school and ministering to my students that I have no energy for socialization outside of that. When I have tried to be social, I just end up feeling out of place (I am ALWAYS older than everyone else) and awkward. I have just grown tired of putting myself out there, to be honest. Last month I terminated my eHarmony sub; after 4 years and very few quality matches, none of the guys that I was interested in responded to communication requests. So now I need that $ to help pay for our pool to be serviced.

Priority shifts always disturb me. I feel as I near my 35th birthday, I am nearing another change point. I just don't know what it is yet. There are NO prospects at the moment. I always find out that the guys I am interested in have been married before or have enough baggage to drowned them. No thanks!

Sara Beth Gygax, one of my babies that Tricia and I nannied for back when I was in high school, just announced that she is dating/courting a lifelong family friend, and I think Bob & Ben are as well. They were like my little siblings...we babysat them! It is strangely normal.

And yet, I am hopeful for my own marital state, even though I have no prospects! It will have to be a miracle at this point for me to meet someone. But I know that I am fulfilling 1 Cor. 7:34, "The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” I AM dedicated to the things of the Lord, being faithful, sharing the Gospel and ministering His truth and love to my students and family. Mom just shared with me this morning how much she loves me, and what a blessing I have been to her and Daddy in fulfillment of their rhema over my birth/life, Prov. 10:22, "It is the blessing of the LORD that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it." That they never had to worry about me spiritually and that she appreciates my love for the Lord. It meant a lot to hear her say it! :-)

Proverbs 18:22 has come to my attention recently; "He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD." I want to be "found" soon! SCC's old song comes to mind..."His strength in us begins, Where ours comes to an end."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

tar balls

Perdido Key Tar Ball Skimmers

It is as bad as they said it was going to be. The stench of the oil seeping into our waterways is just awful. I am disgusted at how inept our country's environmentalists and conservators have been to get this travesty stopped. BP obviously doesn't know what to do, and our own government has offered empty platitudes but no solutions. Come on, Gulf Coasters, and muster yourselves. We are in this for the long-haul, and there is no turning back.

Tar balls have invaded my favorite spot in the world, Perdido Key. These pics are from 2008, from one of our stays at The Mariner.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

beginnings...and endings

I babysat for CL today. Sarah had to drive to Bonifay for a bakery pickup so I got the honors of being CL's babysitter today while Cori taught violin. That "bit o'sunshine" is so adorable! She chatters like a magpie and dances like her Aunt Bee!!!!!

Came home this evening and opened all my mail (Sarah brings it over ever several weeks or so). I read that the student that I sponsor in the ASEA SEED program has graduated from college with her BS in Nursing. I sent her off an e-mail tonight to see what she is planing to do now that she is done with her training. I know that she had mentioned she wanted to work in neonatal or birthing...also had to write Br. Bob to let him know to sign me up to support another girl in the program! Time flies...I think it has been 4 or 5 years now!

My summer has begun nicely. I just needed to recover from a frenetic school year and rest my soul and spirit. I have been able to spend some long needed time soaking in the Word. :-) I have caught up on so much (laundry, business, cleaning), and still have so much left to do! Sleeping late is the best part...and getting to read! :-D I have finally watched "Alice in Wonderland" with Johnny Depp. It was fabulous, as reported! Also Scify's "Alice" was unnervingly good as well.
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