happy new year

Here it is. The beginning of a new year. A year of new beginnings.

2014 was a doozy. I can say that I am glad, heartily glad to see it go. It was such a hard year, trying my soul and spiritual mettle to breaking. And my dreams and goals have grown and broadened.

We rang in the new year with Alex and the Horn kids. We had watched all nine hours of the the LOTR extended trilogy and ate lots of snacks. It was a great start to 2015!

GROWTH
I was asked what is my WHY several times, especially towards the end of the year. It is a question that the Young Living hierarchy beats on their encouragement drums. I read my first MLM business-building book in October. The Four Year Career by Richard Brooke was a quick yet inspiring read. I look forward to expanding my knowledge about essential oils, as well as building this business.

As I thought about my WHY, I discovered several things about myself. First, I am not as organized as I would like to be. I have spent many hours over this holiday sorting through piles of paperwork, receipts, mail, old bills, and school papers that should never have been allowed to accumulate. I can do better than this, I know.

The second thing that I realized is that I cannot do everything. I cannot do more than I can do. And sometimes, I need to sit and sip a cup of hit tea and think about nothing. It's not about how groomed my yard is, or how beautiful my garden is, whether I get everything done that I need to do, making an "A" on every paper and test, or signing up new YL members at every class I teach. It is about trusting God and taking each day as it is given to me.

A BETTER ORGANIZED LIFE
I am starting my journey towards a more organized life with a 2015 Calendar Planner. I purchased it today and am excited to use it. I confess, I have never used one. Ever. I have always journaled and blogged in various levels of writing fervor, but I have never, to my knowledge, written down my goals, appointments, and busyness.

CIAS & MY CAREER
During October's FCCPSA training workshop, I learned several new organization tools that we have already implemented and will continue to develop. I designed and published a brand new CIAS website. I am very proud of it. I spent over a month this past summer working on it, deconstructing the old one and creating a fresh new advertisement profile and informational website. For the very first time, we also transitioned into online reporting system. I am not entirely pleased with the record-keeping website that we chose (it was the only one that I knew of at the time), but I have since found another that I think will better suit our record-keeping needs. I also created a professional profile for the school (to be used for NCAA and such) and wrote a new Scope and Sequence manual, complete with learning objectives for each grade level. There is more to do on it, tweaking it to my liking, but the first edition is published.

Getting the last graduating class through school was quite a feat. Many of them were unmotivated, and some have just finished this December. Prom in April was a bomb in more ways than one. I was asked, by the organizing committee, to leave the premises twice. The gall of some people. I had forty students with me and have always stayed to watch over them. Other that that poisonous sting, it was a fun evening. But...the kids have decided that we will throw our own prom this spring. Oh, boy! There will be more about that to come, I am sure.

Summer was largely absent from school this fall, as her mother was in the last stages of cancer treatment before she died in October. Kristen has been my right hand woman, especially since Tricia has not been at 100%. One noted miracle of the year happened on one day that Kristen could not come to work, and that next morning, it was as if Tricia rose from a deathbed to teach again. I was in awe of Jehovah Jireh!

FINANCES
I have been working very hard to pay off all my credit cards. I hate my debt, and I hate that I let myself get into debt. Student loans are bad enough, without having my former spending habits haunting me. I have been gaining control and have been doing so much better, each year gaining  more and more control and disciplined over my finances. I started working on paying it all down/off three years ago. In 2014 I have paid off three two cards completely, and they are now out of circulation, so to speak.

Tricia finally qualified for disabilities. Poor thing. She can't work very much anymore, her physical body is so weak and stiff. But her disabilities is a pittance. I want her to get a lawyer, and her neuro suggests it. So I have taken the brunt of supporting the family. I barter with one of my school families, and their boys help me with landscaping and yard work. So the yard is getting tamed, more to my liking. And Tricia gains strength and continues to maintain the bookkeeping and taxes and all her accounting duties. Things I have never had the patience for.

I also refinanced the 2110 house this year (Okay, I HAVE gotten a lot done this year!!!). We are saving ourselves several hundred dollars a month now, and Sarah has kept renters all year, but I have profited little from that income. I have funded several home repairs and remodels at the 2012 house in 2014. That is where I live with Mom and Tricia. Half the house is unused, so we cordon it off to save money. We finally had the tile shower finished in the newly combined bathroom that Daniel had started so many years ago, as well as a dozen other projects that Bryan M fixed for us. Daniel came over and ran my dryer lint hose out the back of the house, so that it would not continue to blow into the rec room and make a mess. It is so much nicer, and I am thankful to him.

HEALTH, OR LACK THEREOF
Tricia and her bushel-full of health issues almost swallowed the summer in its entirety. What an ordeal she has been through, and what effort Mama and I have put out to save her health!!! In March, I put Tricia on a stricter Paleo diet, and in April I joined Young Living to use essential oils on Tricia. By the time May rolled around, Tricia was off her feet. By June, she was bedridden. After 90 days, we began to see results from our drastic efforts. It was a very difficult three months. Thank Hashem for His mercy and grace throughout that trial. I thought I was going to have a heart attack from all the pressure.

She was finally diagnosed with a general diagnosis of inflammatory arthritis and is now on methotrexate to help with pain, swelling, and stiffness levels. Her colonoscopy report came back good for the first time since diagnosis: no ulcers (last report, her colon was "fully involved"). Her MS is not currently active, although its effects are ever present with a stumbling gait and neuropathy in her legs (burning). 

I have continued to maintain weight loss throughout the year. THM has been a God-send! I have pulled down 75 pounds all together so far, and I have kept it off. I am sixteen months into my THM and weightloss journey. Over the holidays, I felt very good and had lots of energy. I am so pleased that God has shown me what to do to get healthier.

FAMILY
Our nieces continue to delight us. It brings great joy to me to see them grow up to be sweet, kind, and loving girls. Corrie Lynn has accepted Jesus as her Savior and is such a sensitive doll. Juliana Mae has been learning to be sweet and more tolerant of others. She is a determined and cheerful girl, and her impromptu kisses and declarations of love are heart-melting. Leah Kathleen is our baby, and she knows it! Her main phrase now is, "I don't like it." She loves baby dolls, so Mrs. "Aubee Santa" put together pink bunk doll beds and a high chair for Little Miss' Christmas. It is so cute to watch her play with them!

We are glad Cori and Brian are close by in Magnolia Springs. It makes for a better aunti-life. And Cori's emotional support has been a life-saver for me! :-)

Sarah started dating a fellow named Mark Garcia in August. They are now engaged and planning to be married in March. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving, we all went with her to find a wedding gown. She will be lovely on her special day, and I am one of her maids of honor. This has been a growing experience for the family nucleus and will continue to be so, I believe, as time passes. I love my baby sister and am determined to have the mind of Christ in all things.

I did not quite get my Christmas tree decorated this holiday. We bought a beautiful tall Noble fir right after Thanksgiving, and I put lights on it. But ornaments? No. I was sad that I had no time, and when I did, I did not feel well or had other, more pressing things to do. I told Cori that I should hire her to do my decorating next year! :-) We did put out the lighted Christmas nativity in the yard ( for the first time in many years) and candle lights in all the front windows. And also decorated the school quite nicely earlier in the month.

Mama continues to age. I feel for her increasing feebleness. She helps me care for Tricia and is our main chauffeur. Right now, she has injured her knee, so I am driving them around. I do not like that role, as I am not used to going out so much.

PERSONAL
I am plugging away at my psychology degree. I love my psych classes, as well as my Biblical studies classes. This fall, I took Theories of Personality (loved!) and then Intro to Philosophy (hated!). This spring I take Cognitive Psychology and Psalms. I should love both! I have begun searching for a Masters program that I am interested in, since I am near the end. I am tossing around pursuing a MSW. Regent and Liberty are on the block. Student loans mount, but my trust is in the Lord. He knows what I need and when I need it.

Adding essential oils to my daily routine has been life-saving. I feel better and was able to overcome a bout of depression that tried to oppress me this fall pretty quickly. I am on a better routine of supplements now, as I can afford them.

Instagram and Facebook both saw quite a bit of me, snatches of time here and there. I started The MaryBeeBuzz profile for my Young Living business, as well as established a Young Living website. I read 50% of the Bible through. I had wanted to read it all the way through, but I did better than last year, so that is what I focus on. I did not get to read as much as I would have liked, mostly due to my studies. Most evenings are consumed with reading and writing for classes. I am thankful for holidays and summer terms, free from the grind.

I have decided to make new five and ten year plans. I had thought that by the time I am 45, I wanted to foster or adopt (if I am unmarried). But now I think I will focus on finishing a Masters and then begin familial pursuits. Then maybe I will work on a doctorate in counseling. That could take me to 50, eleven years from now. And my dream of running a family counseling center could be realized.

PLANS FOR 2015
My remodeling project plans for 2015 include the sun porch and lighting and flooring for the kitchen. For the sun porch, it will need tiling, replacing its window, blinds, and painting. I would also like to move towards a total remodel of Cori's old bedroom, removing paneling, putting up drywall, and putting down carpeting, replacing the window and lighting fixtures.

I need to clean out the attics and the second story of the storage shed. These are projects that I hate to tackle on my own.

I have bought a ticket to go to the August Young Living convention and am looking forward to it. In September I will be 40; it seems hard to grasp that I am this old. I do not feel it. I may do something special to celebrate, or go somewhere. Cori and Brian seem to take yearly trips to the Tennessee mountains, so I may treat myself to an early bday gift in the spring.

I will complete 12 more credit hours as well, inching me towards my educational goals. I am also looking forward to several Bible studies, the first of which is Priscilla Shirer's study of Gideon at Hillcrest BC starting in several weeks.

More about my New Year Resolutions later...
Hello, 2015!

hurt shapes

"God the Grand Weaver seeks those with tender hearts to that he can put his imprint on them. Your hurts and your disappointments are part of that design, to shape your heart and the way you feel about reality. The hurts you live through will always shape you. There is no other way."

-Ravi Zaharias in The Grand Weaver

"Having the answers is not essential to living. What is essential is the sense of God's presence during dark season of questioning."

-Calvin Miller, quoted

rambling

Jim Mather reposted a quote the other day about the need for sabbatical rest for the soul. I haven't had much of that in the last ten years since I have been a college/uni student.

So how does a person rest when she doesn't know how? I try to read or listen to music. Reading my Bible is even an exercise since my ADD brain is going in a dozen directions at once. I need more Cedarwood oil!!! :-P Lord, teach me how to rest again; I used to know how. And show me how to rest in You! I read verses like Psalm 5:11-12, "Make everyone rejoice who puts his trust in you. Keep them shouting for joy because you are defending them. Fill all who love you with your happiness. For you bless the godly (wo)man, O Lord; you protect (her) with your ahold of love."

I have decided to start journal blogging again. I think that I need an emotional outlet; I used to be more emotionally stable and think maybe it was because I used to journal and blog regularly. I am also entering premenopause, and it is no joke.

This term, I am having to take a class that I hate. Philosophy is crap...the most worthless knowledge that I have ever had to regurgitate. It's pointless nonsense. I has upset me to spen so much time on something with so little inherent value or application. Can't wait for these next three weeks to be over.

Trish and I are going to pick out a Christmas tree today. I am so thankful that she is on her feet again, albeit wobbly ones but out of that dang sickbed nonetheless. Thank You, Jesus, for that! And for showing us what to do! I feel confident that we are a part of a miracle.

David and Teresa Gingles taught a Young Living training session on Monday night. For some reason, I thought it started at 7, so we were a half hour late. I enjoyed it though. I am catching a vision for where my YL business can take me. I have commuted to a seven-year plan of success and business-building and look forward to where I am going with it! Mom and I took Jill L. And I had gotten tickets for Lee and Pat H, as well. I bought my ticket for next August's YL convention!!! I am excited about that! :-)

today

It has not been a good day. I have experienced a gamut of emotions today...anticipatory, prepared, excited, anxious, irritated, angered, pissed, hurt, marginalized, unloved, and criticized, plus a few more. I have laughed, and I have cried. I put time and effort into creating a Thanksgiving to remember, but few even cared to show up or spend time. I never thought the holidays could ever be this painful; when I was growing up, I thought that Thanksgiving could only get better and better as we added in-laws to the mix. Well, it hasn't worked out that way. It's just been an awful day.

And I have faith and hope that God will work it all for good in my life. He had better. It is all too painful without that hope. Too overwhelming.

Now off to bury my emotion and watch one of my fav films, "Persuasion." I pray the rest of the week gets better!

promises

I am reading the Psalms in the mornings again, the refreshing songs and poems that stir my heart and speak just as much today as they did when I was a child. My childhood and adolescent mornings were spent drowsily reading portions of the Psalms and Proverbs for twenty years. Under the watchful eye of our parents, neither of which had been parented well, we grew up with daily family worship: Scripture reading and prayer. 

Floods of memories of time spent investing in the eternal Kingdom of my heart engulf my mind as I read the Words again and again. Thank You, Abba Father, for them and for the parents who gave us all this priceless gift!

"Those who love Your law have great peace, And nothing causes them to stumble. I hope for Your salvation, O LORD, And do Your commandments. My soul keeps Your testimonies, And I love them exceedingly. I keep Your precepts and Your testimonies, For all my ways are before You." (Psalms 119:165-168 NASB)

let's talk supplements

Those of you who know our family know that some of us are invariably chugging a pile of vitamins and supplements down. This, along with a healthy diet, active life, and presence of the Holy Spirit, has contributed to our health and vitality over the years. The combination of all this has enabled us to successfully run our businesses and live full and happy lives.

Our journey into supplements began when Mom had a stroke in 1993. It was a wake up call. We immediately dove into juicing massive poundage of veggies, grinding and baking with whole grains, drinking purified water, and learning about all the nutrients that not even the best diet can provide. Mom started researching and learning. I remember many late nights pouring over the Drs. Balch books, Prescription for Dietary Wellness and Prescription for Nutritional  Healing. It was not only a wake-up call; it was an education.

So that the why. Here is how we got to where we are now with all this.

Over the years, our supplement-taking ebbed and flowed. Some of us girls went away from home. Periodically we would receive big boxed of supplements and Barley Green powder from back home. Then wjhn back at home, I invested several years into establishing gardens and a chicken brood. As I began to get busier and busier with the school, I had less time to spent on these hobbies and less time to plan meals and organize my health better. It just slipped to the wayside as unimportant. And I started to gain weight and have aches and pains.

Then in 2004, Hurricane Ivan hit. And I developed sciatica in its cleanup aftermath. Let me tell you, that was no picnic. I tried everything, from ice packs & heat pads to anti-inflammatory teas to meds and chiropractor adjustments and finally an ND who knew just what to do to relieve the pain. Now I use Young living essential oils to maintain my pain-free existence. To God be the glory for pointing me in the right direction.

And it was my last visit to Dr. Garry Hendricks, N.D., in Ft. Walton that prompted what came next. As I lay on my stomach on his table during the adjustment, I felt really obese for the very first time ever.  It was fall of 2012. By Christmas I had joined Weight Watchers and lost 15 pounds in 3 months.

And then nothing for the next 3 months. I was faithful to log my food/points, yet nothing was happening. The point logging was time consuming, and I hated it after awhile. Then over the summer I gained it all back. In February I had attendees an Above Rubies ladies treat, where Nancy Campbell mentioned the new book her daughters had just written, Trim Healthy Mama. I bought the book and shelved it. Later that summer, at the prodding of my sister Cori, I read it and started THM officially in August 2013. I have, over time, added to my vitamin and supplement regimen. As my endocrine and digestive systems "reset" themselves, I needed more help with balance and nutrition. So I would hear about "X" that could help with "Y," and I would add it in to see if it helped. And that is where I am at right now.

Here is the how.

Start out small. Five years ago, I started my current regimen with Vitamin C, Barley Max, and a cheap multivitamin from Walmart. Slowly I added to my "bottle basket," including supplements that I knew my body needed. This is what my morning dose looks like now. Now that I have lost almost 60 pounds on Trim Healthy Mama, I know that my health and various body systems DEPEND on my obtaining optimal nutrition from the food I do eat. As I gain strength and energy, I know that I need to fuel my body properly. 

So, I hope that you take the supplement plunge. The research that we did before settling into the brands that we purchase was extensive. They are from the best sources, the most usable and absorbent products for your body, as well as GMO-free and gluten-free as possible.

Take care of yourself, so that you can gain the energy and vitality to take care of those you love. And treat God's Temple right!

devotion

"Do not be led away by diverse and strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by foods, which have not benefited those devoted to them." -Hebrews 13:9 (ESV)

My sister Tricia shared this verse with me this week. I had her send it to me because I wanted to study it in context and explore what the Lord might want to say to me. I came to several conclusions.

1) I do not want to be devoted to foods.
I do not want to be devoted to anything, saving Christ. Not THM for me. Not paleo for Trish. Nothing but Him. Jesus as Lord.  Good, fresh, healthy, chemical-free, organic food is very important and is essential to living an active life. It is. But my passion and devotion belong to Jesus.

2) I want my heart to be strengthened by God's grace.
Which is sufficient. I have to trust that, not just believe it. Sufficient...enough...words that grow in meaning and depth the longer I live. My strength does not come from human sources, but from my Creator.

3) I do not want to be led astray by "diverse and strange teachings."
In all my learning and studying and exploring remedies for Tricia's diseases, I will never compromise my faith in Almighty God to save, deliver, and heal. I will not dabble in the reflexology, or any other heathen or humanistic practice that is present in essential oil instruction or any other treatment that I explore.  Thankfully, my local group and upline in YLEO is not into all that!

4) I am thankful.
I an grateful for the THM lifestyle, paleo eating plan, essential oil education, and all other tools for living a healthy, courageous life, but my lifeline and source is Jesus Christ in whom and by whom all things exist. My life depends on Him, my Sustainer, not on what I eat.

So I don't agree with something like this: