2013 Reminisces, Part 1

It's been a while since I have blogged. A long while. My hiatus can be explained by a determination in late 2012 to spend more time in the Divine Word and less time spinning words of my own.

In the spirit of thinking about the old year disappearing and the new year coming up, I am setting some new goals for 2014. One of those is to begin blogging again, at least one post per month. So that may mean twelve posts, or perhaps more. Who knows...2014 awaits!

Looking back on 2013 over the next several days, I intend to list the adventures that we had, the pain that enlarged in our hearts, and the healing that took place.

Reading  for the Year
I read quite a few online articles coming form a wide variety of sources. I especially enjoyed some brilliant repartee in the form of a theological battle between two current Church leaders over the Charismatic movement in the US. Dr. Michal Brown waxed eloquent and pontificated a rebuttal to John MacArthur's denouncement of the movement and its contributions as a whole: Authentic Fire vs. Strange Fire: It's Not About Winning an Argument

I learned more than I ever had before about the baptism of the Holy Spirit while doing research for a Bible class. And this article by Bill Hamon further explained some things that Derek Prince's informative book did not: Why Speaking in Tongues Matters

The books I read and enjoyed mostly included books required for uni research. This summer I read Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God. Intense stuff right there.

And then came Trim Healthy Mama. I bought that book in February at a Nancy Campbell Above Rubies ladies retreat but didn't start reading it until July. Six hundred pages of scientific diet advice and recipes. God immediately started dealing with an area of sin that has largely been unaddressed for many years in my life: gluttony. It's been a lifechanging journey so far, and I have documented it in pictures on Facebook along the way. Since August I have lost thirty-five pounds; thank You, Jesus!

To be continued... ;-)

purposeful suffering

Suffering is a topic that I don't blog about often, yet recently it has been my constant companion.

I have just read Ann Voskamps' Because We All Have These Days When We're Just Hanging on by a String. I have just passed through a time of pain, of soul-searching and sadness. I dug deep in the Word, the life-giving Logos from my Father. I meditated on His promises and lifted my eyes from the very-present trouble in my life onto the hope that He provides believers. For if I am to believe, I must trust. Ann says about a friend:

"She knows there's no lone victors and every conqueror always has a team, so she reaches out to me last week. Tells me with she’s on the front lines and the negative thoughts are shelling her hard and she’s trying to hold the enemy back with the Word because the only way to ever gain ground is to get deeper into God."

I can identify with this sentiment. I have reached out to my sister Tricia to help me, to pray for me and to hold me up. It does me a world of good to know that she has my spiritual back. And my God-fearing Mama's prayers as well.

The pressure and pain of my life center around my life and family:

• the pain of watching someone I love disobey the Lord, and my knowledge of the ongoing curse of consequences
• the pain of having a beloved family member cut off by divorce
• the pain of a brother not walking with God, purposely running away
• the pain of not having any help with household repairs and remodeling
• the pain of daily existence with overwhelming stress
• the pain of feeling inadequate
• the pain of Tricia's debilitating MS
• the pain of Mom's elderliness and frailty
• the pain of my unmarried state
• the pain of the depraved state of our culture
• the pain of feeling I am shouldering my burdens alone

Tricia and I were speaking the other day about being childless. I think that even if I never birth children of my own, I have had spiritual children to pass through my life at different times for over 20 years now, children and young people whom I have invested in, mentored, discipled, and loved. In my finite human mind, they do not seem enough. But if they are all that I will ever have, then our omniscient God deems them enough.

Psalm 25:18 says, "Look on my affliction and my pain and forgive all my sins." I have said this. I recognize His wisdom. I know that my pain is nothing compared to what Jesus in His earthly life and the saints have suffered, so I try to keep what I am going through in perspective. Yet, "Jesus endured the suffering of the cross because of the joy that was set before Him" (Hebrews 12:2). So I MUST look forward to the hope and joy of the end results of it all in my spiritual life.

"Thy Word is a lamp to my feet., and a light unto my path."
Shedding light in my darkness and discouragement
Shedding light on my sins and fears
Shedding light on the truth and real-ness of God in times of pain and need

I am gaining ground and getting deeper.
I want to be Cross-eyed, to be able to understand the purposeful suffering I endure.
I still expect miracles and showdowns.

And God will win in the end!

september

Before September is properly passed, I want to record my favorite month of the year here. This September found my dependence on the Lord depended. In general, I do not become overwhelmed easily. But the stressors of this month, along with the passing of another birthday, found my spirit sagging close to depression. Thankfully, the Lord heard my cries for help and has delivered me. I echo St. Augustine's thoughts:

"Sometimes we do not merit seeing God in a difficult occasion, because we have not cultivated grace in our inner man. We have not sought God in order to grow in grace. That is to say, we do not merit the honor of being set by God in difficult circumstances- situations in which He wants to be made known- because we have not grown in our ability to see Him in our inner man." -St. Augustine, in On Seeing God

In my uni studies, I have studied recently about "Sabbatical living," a concept largely lost on Western culture, but not obscure to me. Since I was a child, we have observed a weekly rest day, free from the demands of life and the busyness of work. As of late, I have determined that I need to take it more seriously, especially since I have been relegating household chores and housework to this day. I reason that I have no other day to get it accomplished, but I have been robbing myself of resting and replenishing. Hense my stress levels pushing me to depression.

Several hours of meditation and memorizing Scripture (I am curently pegging away at Psalm 91), prayer, and reading meaningful books do wonders to my spirit and soul.

I do not realize that when I neglect it, my spirit starts to wither, and I try to re-coup its loss by being busier than I need to be. My heavier burdens are family duties, spiritual burden of family members who purposely live in opposition to the Lord, household needs that are not met adequately, repairs and remodels that additional money and hard-working men are needed for, future unknowns, the pressure of uni classes added to my already high-octane life...these are my issues.

I have missed a wedding this month. I found out that the groom, who I know, has been sinning against God and his wife, who I do not know. It pains me to see him sully her life with his, so I could not, in clear conscience before God, witness those vows.

I have celebrated new life at a baby shower for a former student and secretary (Sarah), who looks forward to welcoming a precious baby girl (Sophia) into her family. I wanted to get her something really nice, something to treasure and keep, so I finally settled on the Spring Portrait Huggable Huggums Madame Alexander baby doll at Let's Play.

I have spent some time in my garden, which has needed some TLC for some time now. Weeding is the name of the game. yesterday, I spent several hours weeding and have a HUGE 3-foot pile to show for it. Now to inaugurate my burn barrel to dispose of them. I am sporting under a dozen ant bites on my hands and arms to show for my labors. I have spent too much $ on ant-killer this year; I think they move from place to place in the yard, instead of dying like they are supposed to!

I purchased three bargain Christian Regency era novels at Lifeway on the day that Mama bought me a large print New Living Translation Life Application Study Bible for my birthday. What a Bible! So far, Tricia and Mom have been enjoying the books (Linore Rose Burkard's The Country House Courtship, and . ;-)

My birthday was spent in Foley with a day of shopping. At first, on our drive out, I thought it was going to be a disaster (Mom was in a mood), but it ironed out (I prayed very hard!), and I had an enjoyable day overall. Fresh Produce had just received a new shipment of dresses and shirts (it's been a long while since they have had anything that fit me). I was blessed with a nice 20% discount, so I bought the girls two sweet blue sundresses. I enjoyed Kitchen Connection as well, getting myself some needed kitchen things (and some foofoo items as well)! Sarah met up with us for a late lunch at Lambert's (enjoy those "throwed rolls"). Delicious food! I spent the next hour browsing in Old Time Pottery. I didn't find much to buy (I was looking for a mercury glass vase or container to add to my dresser collection), but I did get the baking pan that I needed. And then we headed home.

Tricia went out of her way to make my birthday weekend special, and I appreciate and love her for it (and also for being an all-around awesome best friend/sister)! We had a delicious coffee and breakfast biscuit the next morning and spent the day at home and visiting Cori and precious nieces that I love so dearly! That night was the "family birthday dinner" at Carrabbas. Brother paid for my dinner, but spent the evening baiting Mom. It was not enjoyable at all, and in the end I wish I hadn't planned it. We ended the night picking up Krispy Kreme donuts to enjoy over the weekend. Yum!

I am loving my Keurig!!! It was my birthday gift to myself (we don't exchange gifts as a family anymore), and I have been especially enjoying the macadamia flavored coffee. There are so many flavors to explore; I have already found some that I don't like, but more that I do. :-)

Last weekend, I finally was able to store the last of the Christmas storage bins away, as well as clean up and de-clutter the house (living/dining rooms, laundry room). Today I hope to vacuum the main living area, tackle the girls' playroom, and clean out the fridge. In addition to resting, of course! ;-)

eucharisteo

Life-filling gratitude...

154. Grand and wonderful reading for this new class

155. A sausage gravy and biscuit breakfast, bought for me by my BFIL

156. Nightsounds radio program by Bill Pierce on WEGS

157. The blessedness of freedom to vote for our country's leaders

158. The power of prayer

159. The mandate to "confront the powers of darkness fearlessly, with HIS authority" (D. Wilkerson)

Curious Meg, what big ears you have!

160. Dog being let out on accident, being found by HIS purpose

161. Rainy bands from the outskirts of Hurricane Isaac, and no more

162. Productive days at the school office

163. Finding what was lost

164. The smell of clean laundry (and having it to wear!)

165. Milk!

166. The robust political stimulation of the RNC in Tampa this week

167. Peace that passes all understanding

168. A lifetime of trust in a sovereign and loving God

169. Parents that educated us in the history of Christianity

170. A PLACE is being prepared for me in GLORY!


"Give thanks to the Lord! His Love Endures Forever!"

in deep

I sense, as I delve into my assigned reading for this class, that I am getting "in deep." This class is Regent's Making of the Christian Mind. And I am LOVING IT!!!

Before I get too many weeks into my studies, I want to post some of the things I am marking and/or highlighting in the many texts, papers, and articles I am required to read.

I counted, and this week alone I have almost 200 pages to read, plus 3 essays to write and a quiz to study for!!! Anyway, the workload is heavy, but so is the enrichment of my theology and spiritual life! :-)

My favorite so far has been Cornelius Plantinga, Jr.'s (cool name, huh?!?) book Engaging God's World. Plantinga served for a time as president at Calvin Theological Seminary, a Reformed bastion. He starts out the book with a dedication to Chuck Colson, one of my Dad's most beloved modern writers and apologists. I liked it already! ;-)

"Cool Quotes" from this book...

"The Holy Spirit authors all truth." (Calvin) Pg. x

"Well-instructed Christians try not to offend the Holy Spirit by scorning truth in non-Christian authors over whom the Holy Spirit has been brooding, but this does not mean that Christians can afford to read these authors uncritically (Calvin, in his Institutes). After all, a person's faith, even in idols, shapes most of what a person thinks and writes, and the Christian faith is in competition with other faiths for human hearts and minds." Pg. x

"Thoughtful Christians know that if we obey the Bible's great commandment to love God with our whole mind, as well as with everything else, then we will study the splendor of God's creation in the hope of grasping part of the ingenuity and grace that form it. One way to love God is to know and love God's work. Learning is therefore a spiritual calling; properly done, it attaches us to God. In addition, the learned person has, so to speak, more to be Christian with." Pg. xi

"Getting educated is an excellent way to prepare for service in the kingdom of God. It's not the only way, but it is an excellent way." Pg. xii

"Educated Christians therefore need to 'know their Bible' in order to lead a life that fits in with the purposes of God." Pg. xii

"Shalom- restoration of peace, justice, and harmony,; the coming of the kingdom." Pg. xii

"There is not a square inch on the whole plain of human existence over which Christ, who is Lord over all, does not proclaim: 'This is Mine!'" (Kuyper), Pg. xiii

"A holy life means a whole life." Pg. xiv

"Only the Holy Spirit can start Pentecost. On the Holy Spirit can blow across your bow (as in ship bow) strongly enough to turn you around for good, but your (Christian) college can help you hoist your sails." Pg. xvi

"Our final joy lies 'beyond the walls of the world.' (Tolkien)
Ultimate beauty comes not from a lover or a landscape or a home, but only through them. (C. S. Lewis) Pg 6

"Our 'inconsolable secret' is that we are full of yearnings, sometimes shy and sometimes passionate, that point us beyond the things of earth to the ultimate reality of God (Lewis, Weight of Glory) Pg 7

"Genuine hope always combines imagination, faith, and desire." Pg. 8

"Without the lens of Scripture to correct and enlarge our vision, we see the world with self-referential bias." Pg 10

"But the person who keeps her head up so that she can lookout toward the future of others- this is a person with some range to her hope. This is a person who has been enlarged by the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:17)." Pg 12

"Without costly action, hope can soften into sentimentality. With costly action, hope may harden into reality." Pg. 14

thankful living

Eucharisteo in my life this week...

133. Pizza and swimming in the sunshine

134. Warm wet hugs and kisses from two precious toddlers

135. Finding an affordable replacement for Mom's worn-out blue rug (identical pattern/colors)

136. Craigslist finds, specifically a burn barrel and an identical replacement for Mom's worn-out blue rug

137. 50% clearance on two new Yankee candles

138. Cocacola fudge cake at Cracker Barrel

139. Fun and relaxation with Mom and sisters

140. The XXX Summer Olympics in London

141. USA gymnast Gabby Douglas' bold witness for the Lord

142. A cool house in the heat of summer

143. Sweet and deep sleep

144. Student loans to pay for online uni classes

145. Texts from across the world

146. The delicious smell of cinnamon struesel muffins

147. Green bell peppers, picked fresh

148. Energy and health to do housework

149. The grace to get what I need to get done, done

150. A Sunday day of rest! :-)

151. The sound of waves crashing on the beach at my feet

152. Making my mortgage payment once again this month

153. Being able to pay off another credit card! :-D


"Give thanks to the Lord! His Love Endures Forever!"

crazy love & mr. chan

I gave a friend a copy of Frances Chan's Crazy Love recently. Last summer, on a whim, I ordered my first audio-book and listened to Mr. C read his Crazy Love. This was tricky, since I am LARGELY a visual person and do NOT have much of an auditory modality at all. Mr. C boldly attacks several American ideologies that we hold dear, many "culturisms" that are not Scriptural and not in any way true. My "American sensibilities" were challenged as my mind reverted to some ideas that theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer had proposed during the '30-40s, ideas regarding the then current Christians' unbiblical thinking and practices. And Chan's premiss that our God is jealous over us, that He is relentless in His pursuit of us, is fascinating! Ideas that I know in my head, and I need to realize more fully in my heart.

Now said friend has asked me about my favorite part of Crazy Love.
Well, I have many favorite parts! :-D  Here are some of my fav excerpts from the first chapters.

Chapter 1:

"Our culture says anything goes; fear of God is almost iunheard of. We are slow to listen, quick to speak, and quick to become angry. The wise man comes to God without saying a word and stands in awe of Him...Romans tells us that through creation, we see His 'invisible qualities' and 'divine nature.'"

"R. C. Sproul writes, 'Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have constrasted themselves with the majesty of God.'"

"There is an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune. No matter how many fascinating details we learn about God's creation, no matter how many pictures we see of His galaxies, and no matter how many sunsets we watch, we still forget."

"We are programmed to focus on what we don't have, bombarded multiple times throughout the daywith what we need to buy that will make us feel happier or sexier or more at peace. This disatisfaction transfers over to our thinking about God. We forget that we already have everything we need in Him."

"Isn't it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?"

"Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!"

"He knows our thoughts before we think them, our actions before we commit them, whether we are lying down or sitting or walking around. He knows who we are and what we are about. We cannot escape Him, even if we want to.When I grow weary of trying to be faithful to Him and want a break, it doesn't come as a surprise to God."

"God is the only Being who is good, and the standards are set by Him."

 "All the people of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him, 'What have you done?'" -Daniel 4:35

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Do not be anxious about anything." -Phil. 4:4, 6


Chapter 2:

"Worry implies that we don;'t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance."

OUCH!!! This ^^ is like reading my bio! :-(
More to come...